In my last post, I talked about how to write realistic dialogue.
The problem is that in novels, characters don't talk like normal people, but sometimes they should.
Characters in love should talk like normal people instead of cheesy cheese (not my best word choices).
A few weeks ago, I saw the Host. I had never been to a movie in the theater where people were laughing (more like howling) without reservation throughout the entire movie during "dramatic" scenes. I spent a majority of the film saying things like "if they say/ do this, I'm going to hit my head against a wall" which I actually did. It was that bad.
The problem was that the dialogue tried so hard to sound romantic and ended up sounding creepy.
Yes, theoretically, a guy telling you that he watches you while you sleep should should romantic (sorry for the Twilight reference Meyer fans), but in reality, guys should NOT sneak into your room while you are unconscious.
When you are writing romantic dialogue, think would I find this romantic if you were in the situation. The odds are you would say yes since the dialogue roots from your subconscious (which thinks about that kinda stuff). If you happen to say no, DELETE IT.
If you answered yes, go up to a friend and tell them your romantic dialogue out of the blue. If they don't get a restraining order on you, you can keep it.
Best of luck to you while you try to not creep people out.
